Amazon Original Pilots

So after watching all of the comedy Amazon original pilots I'm at the point where they just aren't that good, granted it's very hard to judge a show on just one episode.  One thing I do like is that most of the actors in these are all new comers, which is great if the show gets picked up.  I enjoy seeing new people especially in comedic roles.  I was kind of hoping they would have a more vast array of types of shows such as a thriller, or even a drama.  It's all comedies or kid's shows.  Hopefully when these all get decided on they will expand or just leave it to Netflix since they are doing a fantastic job with original series.  I'm not sure when they will announce what has been picked up and what has been cancelled.  But once a decision has been made on all the shows I will put up a post about it.  Until then here is a short review on each show and these can be watched on the Amazon app which is on most bluray players and game systems.  Also can be watched online at www.amazon.com/originals.

Betas

A group of friends who are computer program developers are trying to get a startup going.  This pilot episode is basically them going through the ups and downs trying to find a company to buy their program.  Also random shenanigans in between the main story kind of keep it from getting too boring but it's just not enough.  This isn't really a comedy show but it does try to have some funny scenes and jokes but it's just really not funny.  It falls in between a weird place on trying to be too many things and just doesn't succeed.  It stars Charlie Saxton (Movie 43) and Ed Begley Jr. (Pineapple Express).  

I don't really recommend watching this one.

Alpha House

This one is about 3 senators in D.C. who are all trying to deal with issues in government.  They all live together and part of the story is them trying to find a new roommate because or an incident involving a guest start comedian at the beginning of the episode.  Now the story sounds like a setup for a sitcom comedy show.  This is far from it, it does have some comedic parts but the show itself has a serious tone.  It stars John Goodman and if it wasn't for him I personally don't think it would be as interesting, he definitely makes this show worth while.  So if you're a huge John Goodman fan and really like politically themed shows then is for you.  I recommend it but only on those terms. 

Browsers

So 4 young adults in the big city get hired on at a news website as interns.  This website basically browses the web for links, videos, and any information and tries to be the first one out there with the hot new info on the internet.  These 4 new interns all have specific skills to do this job.  They range from a stoner, a guy who still lives with his parents and 2 very determined people who will do anything to reach the top.  So it sounds like you got the basic premise down...right?   NOPE, they also all sing.  Not in the sense that they are trying to become singers and that's the part of the plotline.  More in the sense that they take situations in the show and sing about them with original songs.  Did I just make this sound really cheesy?, probably not because this isn't Glee 2.0.  The singing and choreographed numbers are entertaining and it does move the story along well.  The show had me laughing at times, especially a song the head honcho sings which is played by Bebe Neuwirth (The Faculty).  So I do recommend watching this one unless you just hate singing and the internet but if you're reading this on here you at least like 50% of that so check it out. 

Dark Minions

This is a stop motion animation show.  Since these are pilot episodes though this isn't entirely finished.  Only about 5 minutes of it is actually animated, the rest of it is just storyboards and the voices.  It has the voice talents of John Ross Bowie (Big Bang Theory), Kevin Sussman (Big Bang Theory), Clancy Brown (Shawshank Redemption), Richard Kind (Spin City), and Phil LaMarr (Mad TV).  The basic premise is 2 broke guys need a job and take one on a warship in space just for the money.  It had some funny scenes in it.  I don't see this one getting picked up just because it probably costs a good amount of money to produce since it's all stop motion animation (Nightmare Before Christmas).  I would probably keep watching this one, mostly because I enjoy that kind of animation.  I also enjoyed the actors who play the voices on the show.  It's not really a kind friendly show but I don't remember any worse language than you hear on regular cable TV.  So I would say wait for it to be picked up and hopefully you could see a full episode fully animated and that would make a huge difference in viewing this show. 

Onion New Empire

Hearing this was going to be one of the new pilots from Amazon I got really excited just because the Onion news can be hilarious.  The same does not bode for the show, it wasn't as funny as I though it would be.  Don't get me wrong it still has hilarious parts but it's more on the "Oh My God, did they really just say or do that?"  It stars Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development), Christopher Masterson (Malcom in the Middle), William Sadler (The Shawshank Redemption), Cheyenne Jackson (30 Rock).  If you're familiar with The Onion News that you would be familiar enough with this show it's basically a fake news organization with fake news repots twisted with the worst possible outcomes.  There was an Onion New Network show on TV a few years back and is still randomly online so I'm not sure if this show will succeed since there's already something out there available.  If you enjoys The Onion News then yeah check out this pilot and hopefully you get some laughs out of it.

Supanatural

This is a cartoon series geared towards adults, yes I spelled it correctly above.  It's about 2 women from the ghetto who fight Supernatural forces but everything has an ethnic twist to it.  I get the whole twist on everything and the jokes can be funny but just seems more stereotypical racist than anything.  Which don't get me wrong that can be funny when it's done right but they just don't seem to pull it off here.  It stars a bunch of new people who haven't been in anything but it does have Riki Lindhome (Last House on the Left).  I could see something like this playing on Adult Swim...maybe, but I don't see many people enjoying this show.  If you really like animation and watch supernatural and you always wished instead of 2 stunningly handsome men it starred 2 super stereotypical ghetto women, then this show is for you.

Those Who Can't

This is a comedy about 3 guys who are all high school teachers.  One is a gym teacher, another is History I think and the other one I can't even remember.  There were a couple funny jokes here and there.  It's a little darker humor kind of like Always Sunny In Philadelphia but just not as good.  The 3 teacher who are also friends basically play pranks on each other and joke around the entire time which can be very funny at times.  Also the fact this is on Amazon and they can say anything makes it kind of funny since they aren't censored at all.  It again stars a bunch of new people who really haven't been in much and also comedian Nikki Glaser is in it.  If this one gets picked up I would give it another chance since it did have funny jokes and scenes throughout.

 Zombieland

Allright last but not least I watched Zombieland.  This is a continuation of the movie Zombieland, but without any of the same actors.  Now doing that right there can be a big mistake.  Watching this I kept my expectations low because of the new actors, and I would have to say you should probably do the same.  The environment, jokes, and character names are all the same.  But at times it feels like a zombieland rip-off or one of those straight to DVD movies that's ripping off of a huge blockbuster (Transformers / Transmorphers).  It stars...you guessed it a bunch of newbies and also Tim Bagley (Knocked Up).  You would think this is probably the one that would be picked up, but I have heard rumors already that this one has been cancelled but I would like to see a few more episodes to judge it properly.  So if you're really into zombies and want to see a little more of the zombieland world then yeah check it out.  If not just go watch the movie again.   

Hemlock Grove (2013)

For the past 2 weeks I’ve been watching a Netflix original series produced by Eli Roth called Hemlock Grove.  It stars Famke Janseen (X-men),  Lili Taylor (The Haunting), and many new comers.  Since Eli Roth is behind it there are some pretty bloody and gory parts.  This is a supernatural show revolving around a girl who is murdered from some sort of wild animal.  As the town searches for the murderer, suspects from the town they all start to reveal who they really are and the secrets start coming out at every corner.   Nobody is who they seem, you start to wonder what kind of supernatural entities certain characters are.  It takes awhile for the truth to get out and they do seem to draw out pretty much all of the stories.  I get the idea of drawing it out to build character stories and deeper storylines, but sometimes there’s not enough to keep it interesting.  I will say that if you do enjoy the first few that you should keep watching.  There is a catch to this series though that I will warn you about, there’s not much pay off on the season finale.  About 2 question gets answered and that’s about it.  One cool thing that did get me hooked was seeing a supernatural transformation.  This only happens twice throughout the season which was kind of disappointing, I would’ve loved seeing it a few more times throughout but you deal with what you get.  Each episode is about 45 minutes and there are 13 episodes to the season.   They do end it on a sort of what is going to happen next ending and left a lot of questions for viewers.  So I would say that I’m anticipating a second season on Netflix.  This is only available on Netflix instant, but definitely worth a shot if you’re into the whole supernatural aspect of it.

I do recommend this show, but it does drag on and can be very slow at times.

I give it a 4.0 for keeping me wondering what would happen next and the finale keeps me asking for more

and wanting to know the secrets of Hemlock Grove. 

Lords Of Salem (2013)

Allright so I watched Lords of Salem last night and I  don’t even know how to sum this movie up for a review but let’s see what I can do.  This is Rob Zombie’s newest horror movie, it’s not so much a horror movie but a just fucked up visual witch fest.  It stars Sheri Moon Zombie (House of 1,000 Corpses), Bruce Davison (X-men), and Dee Wallace (E.T.).  The basic premise is Heidi who is a radio DJ and one day receives what she thinks is a demo from a band but instead is some sort of hidden message from a spell by the Salem witches.  Now this movie is not for most people, unless you’re a fan of Rob Zombie movies.  There is alot of symbolism in this movie, that to the usual viewer would be totally confused.  I’m still confused as to what exactly happened throughout the movie and the ending especially.  There’s a lot of old lady nudity and Sheri Moon’s ass is un-credited but makes an appearance several times. 

So I don’t recommend this movie unless your dead set on going to see it.  It’s very weird and super confusing, I’m sure Rob Zombie had an idea and it sounded great in his head but visually it just doesn’t work for most people.  If you still feel like seeing this it is in some theaters but it didn’t get a full release so you may have to a little road trip to see it.

I give this movie 2 stars, for just in general of being messed up and I wanted to keep watching to see what happened and how everything would play out.   

American Mary (2012)

I watched a movie called American Mary.  This was one of the Screamfest movies from last year, if you’re not familiar with Screamfest it’s basically like Sundance for Horror movies.  This movie is about a medical student still in school and learning to become a skilled surgeon.  After needing cash because of bills pilling up Mary decides to check out a local strip club to make some extra cash.  Mary instead is hired by the club owner and some underground groups to do body modification surgeries.  While doing this she starts to learn towards the underground part of surgeries and not so much with the legit surgery experience.  It stars Katherine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps), not really any star power in this movie since it is a lower budget horror movie.  For lower budget horror movies I always give credit to the screamfest films, they do a pretty good job at picking the best out of the lot.  I’m not saying this is an amazing movie or anything but it was interesting.  There are a few different directions that the plot goes to move the story which is interesting.  After watching this I was curious to what was involved with Body Modification, it was interesting to say the least and most people actually participate in this even if it’s at a very low level.  It can include Tattoos, piercings, to just dying your hair.  Now this movie takes body modification to the extreme and does have some gory parts when things go wrong, it is of course a horror movie. 

Now this movie isn’t released to rent or buy until June 18^th, 2013 but I do recommend maybe renting it if you’re into the low budget horror genre

I give this movie a 3.5 for a good story and getting me to look into something I didn’t really know anything about.

Bachelorette (2012)

I watched Bachelorette this week, it’s about a group of old high school friends getting back together because one of them is getting married.  After having an incident during the bachelorette party and then a drunken accident with the wedding dress everything just goes downhill from there.  It stars Kirsten Dunst (Spider-man), Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect), Lizzy Caplan (Cloverfield), Isla Fisher (Wedding Crashers), Andrew Rannells (The New Normal), James Marsden (Enchanted), and Adam Scott (Parks and Rec).  Before watching this I figured it was just a rip-off of Bridesmaids taking a mostly girls cast and putting them in funny situations.  Yes it does do this but in different ways and the cast makes some scenes so funny, Isla Fisher’s and Lizzy Caplan’s characters are hilarious.  Some of Isa Fisher’s jokes and mannerisms are still making me laugh.  Eveytime I try to sum up this movie I feel like I have to compare it to bridesmaids but it’s not really like that.  It’s almost a darker comedy version of it in a way.

I do recommend this movie especially if you have Netflix instant

I give this movie a 4.0 for the shenanigans they get in to and the great cast. 

Red Dawn (2012)

We watched Red Dawn the other night which is available to rent or own right now.  This is a remake of the 1984 classic movie titled the same.  This new version stars Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Josh Peck (Drake and Josh), Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games), Adrianne Palicki (G.I. Joe Retaliation), Isabel Lucas (Transformers 2), and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (The Watchmen).  The story is that North Korea invades the United States and a group of teenagers escapes to fight and take them down.  This then sparks resistances  around the world to fight against the North Koreans.  Now this movie had several problems first of all it was originally China who invaded the United States. The directors realized that China has covered majority of the United States debt so the film makers decided to change that after the fact using C.G.   This movie was also made back in 2009 but shelved because of financial problems, having Chris Hemsworth being a huge star now I guess they figured the time was right.  I also feel that this could never happen in the world we live in, and they try to place this into a real world scenario but I just couldn’t get into that fact.  I think it worked better back in the 80’s so it does seem a little dated.  The movie wasn’t horrible and I would recommend it for some cool action and if you can’t get into older movies this would be a good option for watching Red Dawn it’s the same basic premise of the original.

I give this movie a 2.5 for being another remake they should of just stayed away from. 

A Sound of Thunder (2005)

I watched A Sound of Thunder, this is loosely based off a Ray Bradbury short story also titled A Sound of Thunder.  It’s basically the original story that spawned the term The Butterfly Effect (also a very good movie).  It all takes place in 2055 when a company called Time Safari offers customers the chance to travel back to the prehistoric era and actually kill a dinosaur.  So time travel is a thing but it’s governed and has vey strict rules.  They know that if you change one thing in the past it can change the entire future.  Well as you can imagine something does go wrong on one of the expeditions and things start to change.  They have a limited amount of time to find out what happened and fix it before it’s too late.  This movie stars Edward Burns (Man on a Ledge, 27 Dresses), and Ben Kingsley (Iron Man 3).  Now if you watch the movie you have to realize I don’t like it for the visual effects because they are horrible, I mean really really bad.  I liked it for the idea and I love the whole Butterfly Effect premise, which also is the main reason I hope time travel never gets figured out.  I really wish this would have been received better and looked a lot better than it did.  It had a decent budget of 52 million dollars so I don’t why the C.G. and effects looked so bad. 

I did enjoy this movie when it came out and still enjoyed it watching it again but you have to get past the horrible visuals.  I’m not sure if I would exactly recommend it to anybody but if you’ve got nothing to do and it’s on TV. or someone has it to borrow then yeah check it out. 

I give this movie a 3.0 because it’s really hard to ignore all the crappy C.G. but I still enjoyed the story